Entry: an sharp intake of breath Thursday, June 22, 2006
I've had dreams this past week. Lots of them. Self-mutialation, searches, sex...you name it.
Last night I dreamed that I was in a church. It was a huge beautiful gothic cathederal. There was a bishop there who talked me into being baptized. Not, sprinkled, but dunked. For some reason this church had a huge baptistry. He told me that I should do it, not for myself, but for the good of mankind. I would be helping others.
I walked up the stairs to the baptistry to take a look. It was the size of a full room and the water was very warm. I remember thinking in the dream that it was like a jucazzi. Then I noticed that the water flowed slightly over the edge of the thing and that it was slowly flooding the whole church. No one seemed to notice, or either they just didn't care. I walked into a small room where the bishop was waiting for me. I told him , "just so you know, don't hold me under for very long, because I start to freak out." He said, "Ok, I won't hold you under for very long. Just relax." He grinned mischiviously. He was wearing a long priest's robe. Then he said, "What if I put my hand up your skirt while I dunk you under...would you relax then?". "Don't do that", I told him. "I would have an involuntary sharp intake of breath and breathe in all the water!". He smiled and I woke up.
Kind of explains my present outlook on religion....being fucked by the church while being fucked by the church.
It's funny about dreams. Our thoughts are wonderous things. They become feelings which in turn become life and death. Our feelings for one another cause other lives to be born...and sometimes our feelings for one another lead to death.
I've had a lot of experience with dreams. And more than usual experience with pre-cognitive dreams. Sometimes dreams bring me information that I would not have been able to handle in real life...on some subtler plane of existance. Or things that were right in front of my face that I just could not see in waking life. Or things that were being hidden from me by others.
It's not crazy, it's not wierd (ok, maybe a little wierd), but it fits into my theory of collective unconcious. Every thought changes molecules in the air, causing numerous other changes....and we all experience these changes in one way or another.